The Stories

8: The Previously Untold Story of the Previously Unknown 8th Dwarf

Written in verse, this is the previously untold story of the previously unknown 8th dwarf, named Creepy. He is banished to the basement for being different and, well, weird. Yet he plays a vital – and of course previously unknown – role in the popular tale of Snow White – whose title character is an intruder Creepy refers to as “the Maid”. (Intended for YA readers and up)
Goodreads avg of 116 ratings: 4.22 out of 5 stars
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Excerpt 1
The stories we pass down from parent to child
Were once realistic, but somehow turned mild.
We tweak and revise and when all else fails
We choose to omit certain crucial details,
Until they’re forgotten, and nobody knows
How a story originally, truthfully goes.
Take Snow White for example, a popular tale
With plenty of unpleasant truths to unveil.
For instance, I’d wager that you didn’t know
Seven lived in that cottage
~ while one lived below.
Excerpt 2
‘Til one night at dinner he’d had quite enough
Of their pointless, dwarfish, merriment stuff.
When a spider crawled slowly across Creepy’s bowl,
He grabbed and showed it and swallowed it whole!
“That DOES IT!” they said, and they locked him downstairs
In a cellar room, cold and in need of repairs.
From there he still heard them, their chatter and feet,
And he saw them through floorboards that didn’t quite meet.
He wondered how long would they keep up this game.
After all, he was just living up to his name.
The Plight and Plot of Princess Penny

An original fairy tale about a princess who hires the witch from The Frog Prince to get revenge on a Mean Girl at school. What could go wrong?
Goodreads avg of 34 ratings: 4.09 out of 5 stars
This is the story of Penny Lemieux
Most of it’s strange, but all of it’s true.
Or perhaps that should read the opposite way.
We won’t ever be certain. (Well … at least not today.)
Penny was the royal princess of the place from which she came.
It was one of those oddball, storybook kingdoms that didn’t have a name.
In fact the only thing she knew was its location “far away”.
“Far away from what?” Penny wondered, but never bothered to say.
Penny’s Dad was King (of course), and that made Mom the Queen.
As the Princess, Penny did her own thing. Last week she turned fifteen.
She kept to herself both day and night and had her own personal style:
Dark eyeliner, six earrings total and her crooked, smirking smile.
Her jet-black hair hung over one eye as it fell around her head.
Her favorite thing was a T-shirt saying: My Stepmom Wants Me Dead.
She didn’t have a stepmom; it was a fairy tale princess joke.
She wore it for the stares she got and the shock it did evoke.
Her grade point average was just that: “average”. Her report cards showed mostly Cs.
The kids at school avoided her like she had some contagious disease.
The collective opinion was that Princess Penny was just all kinds of mean
And all caught up in what was known as “V.I.P. Royalty” scene.
Her reputation was she was vain and liked things done her way.
They said she tried on shoes and jewelry and counted her money all day.
Although indeed Penny had no friends, those other things were untrue.
People misjudged her left and right from their ignorant point of view.
When kids talk of one who is not in the group, it’s easiest just to agree.
And repeat the rumor of nasty behavior they never did actually see.
With confidence (and more than a little frustration), Princess Penny could surmise
That one girl in particular had started all these lies.
A teenage diva named Darcy DeLupus, in an act of social survival,
had targeted Penny as a first-class freak and called the girl her rival.
The situation irked the Princess, but she didn’t let it show.
She simply stayed away from places Darcy’s crowd would go.
You’d think someone with Royal Status could easily get payback.
But the solution came from an unlikely place: a convenience store magazine rack.

Never before published as an individual story. Only available in the TaleSpins trilogy collection.
It’s become quite a trend to take a known story
and tell it a different way.
That’s all well and good for we can assume
every author has something to say.
A changed point of view or a whole new character,
created to “set things right.”
I know nothing of that, but the story that follows
did happen to me one night.
If you must know I’ll tell you that I am a doctor.
Little else will be revealed.
I’m too modest to say, but others
have called me a giant in my field.
A certain luxurious way of life
has been gained from my success.
The entire top floor of a high-rise
serves as my permanent mailing address.
Over the years I’ve collected some treasures
from travels all over the earth.
Paintings and artifacts added to the fortune
I received as a right of my birth.
I’m not one to brag, so please understand,
my wealth is a relevant fact.
For someone broke into my home that night,
and I got (as kids say today) “jacked.”

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